Good Old-Fashioned Bible Burning

I'm admittedly a bit late to this bandwagon, so it's highly likely just about anyone visiting this blog would have already heard of the "Christian Civil Liberties Union" and their attempt to confiscate a book from a Wisconsin public library for the purposes of burning it.

Yes it sounds like satire. No it isn't satire.

A group calling itself the Christian Civil Liberties Union filed a claim with the city of Milwaukee seeking the right to burn a public library’s copy of a young-adult book with gay content, according to the American Library Association.

The CCLU presented trustees of the West Bend Community Memorial Library with the complaint on June 2, asking for the right to burn or otherwise destroy in public a copy of Baby Be-Bop. The group also demanded $120,000 in damages for being exposed to the book on display, and requested the resignation of West Bend mayor Kristine Deiss for allowing the title to be viewed by the public.

Let's be honest here: how boring would the world be without groups like CCLU? What would people like me have to do in our spare time? The truth is we secretly appreciate such lunatics, even while publicly ranting against them.

So in honor of the CCLU, I think it only fair the West Bend Community Memorial Library also provide a copy of the Bible for fiery consumption. Unfortunately burning the Bible is much like burning an American flag - many consider it a proper method of disposal (in the case of flags, U.S. code actually mandates incineration). This being the case I would suggest the only way to make sure of maximum offense would be a mass Bible burning. The best part is it wouldn't cost anything for the books, although a permit for public burning might be fairly expensive if not impossible to acquire considering the intent.

Then again, something similar to this Harry Potter burning (without the church or raised arms anyway) may not be the better public relations image.

A larger benefit would be media attention. Burning a homosexual-themed book only seems to rate around the edges of mainstream news, especially with the mess in Iran to keep media outlets busy. What if you douse a colossal pile of Bibles in accelerant and start roasting marshmallows over the flames of Heaven?

Sure it's dramatic, but I guarantee a media event. Depending on what's going on in the world, you may get national coverage. Depending on who takes notice, you may have a week or more of said coverage. The absolute best part would be hate mail. I'm sure some LGBT group somewhere is sending the CCLU fundazealots nastygrams, but they wouldn't hold a candle to the hypothetical mountain of you're-going-to-Hell-like-tomorrow messages from loving followers of Christ all over the U.S. At the same time I'm sure supportive packages of fresh Bibles would also arrive.

I should probably stop this post now... it's beginning to sound fun enough to actually organize something and I don't know if my Karma is high enough.